Its Been a While

its been a while

oooo! great Staind song! lol...everything seems to go back to songs & music with me doesnt it? ;)

but really now [and Im avoiding the word "seriously" hehe] I kinda anticipated this, I start writing a semi-diary, it was OBVIOUS Id stop...cause....its me, and I know myself...lol...at least a bit....

anywayz, what Ive been up to? probably much...what do I mean by that? I dont remmeber much...yeah, my memory is a funy thing...I dont remember all kind of stuff...kinda like when I wanna hold grudges, and I cant...and not cause Im this good person, but becasue I cant rememebr....lol...happened to me yesterday, something happened in the morning [cant rememebr with who even!] and in the evening I thought, "who do I need to give a payback" and I was like...o_O I couldnt remember the what, not even the who...xD hmp

Id just say its casue its not important and I couldnt care less, and that'd probably be true....hmp...I really dont care...meh.

what else? I made a last.fm account...it got all messed up, and opened a new one....LOL! though I like my new name, even though I enjoy inner freak, my new one is fun as well! :) the pic in this post is my userpic there, and Im just TOTLALY inlove with it!!!! ^_^

anwyayz...short post, cause, no one is rading this & I got my final final tomorrow....school sucks...lol..tomorrow, school will rock, cause itll be officially OVER!

so, just emrace your inner freak, and we'll be all good :p

The End and a Double Begining accompined with some Music

so...I skipped one day on posting..sorry....lol..I wasnt in the the interent much....lol...yesterday was a busy day

I did my final in Civics, which means, no more civics...EVER! :D:D:D

then, I was supposed to go dress shoping with my sister...but we had a fight over the most stupidest thing! baa..in the end we made up and went...and just as we got into the car, there was "The Reason" by Hoobastank [love that band :) ] which TOTALLY fot our situation..if you knew what it was..lol....and damit...Im SO annoyed at myself...when I get REALLY mad, I cry...baa..and its SO annoying, cause people just think I cry cause they hirt my feelings or something..but the fact is, Im just SO mad..I cry...so my mum told my sister "look what you did, she's crying now" or something like that, and I was like "Im not crying" [while tears dripping down my face.

gosh, annoying!

and then with the song...cause Im such an emotional girl [baa] again...blah..this sucks... maybe my PMS is about to come....though Im not any crankier then usual during THAT time of the month...^_^ Im always cranky and annoying :p

lol

so, we went shopping! and we found the perfect dress!!! and even two! :O:O:O lol..from none dresses to two! ^_^ one is black & white stipes, strapless, till the knees, and its REALLY comfortable and flattering =] the other, which we bought cause it was juts so sweet, and REALLY cheap - and this was a "high class" shop...the prices were...high...lol [my siser went crazy^^ Im usually a really convinient and "cheap" girl...xD] so, that other dress was really cheap & cute, so we go that one too...its light purple* pink, and white, and just really sweet and pretty!

once my camera is fixed, Ill take pics and post them :)

otehr than THAT...nothing much happened here....my next final is only on NEXT THursday, so I got time to relax and do nothing! wicked!

what do you suggest I do with my "vacation"? hehe

PS-the icon, I did, and its because I LOVE the song, I Changed My Name by the best band ever, Sugarcult


The Reason by Hoobastank

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

and the reason is You [x3]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you


I Changed My Name by Sugarcult

I couldn't sleep last night
My ears were ringing in my head
Best friends with the boogie man
I may be better off here dead
Running on empty once again
Too tired for tears I dread
Sink deep into those magic dreams
While I blast off in my bed

And you know I played it all in here
Where everyone hides their darkest shades of fears
And I threw my whole night down the drain
You know cause everyone says that i'm not the same
Since I changed my name

Three hours later and i'm staring at the ceiling still
Xanax does nothing more but calm the sleeping thrill
Turning the pillows round and round to find the cold spot for my head
Ah, bless my only friend

And you know I played it all in here
Where everyone hides their darkest shades of fears
And I threw my whole night down the drain
You know cause everyone says that i'm not the same
And everyone turns tricks for fickle fame

I feel my body's lost control
My knees get weak as I drift away
And it gets darker, darker
Dreaming's where I am

And you know I played it all in here
Where everyone hides their darkest shades of fears
And I threw my whole night down the drain

And you know I played it all in here
Where everyone hides their darkest shades of fears
And I threw my whole night down the drain
You know cause everyone says that i'm not the same
Since I changed my name

*sigh*

if Im reduced to putting the *sigh* in my title...its just a sign to how bad I am right now....

my Civics teacher just called me...I did the civics semi final again, cause the first one didnt go well, and this one went even worse! though, one mistake that cose me a lot of points wasnt something I didnt know..I just thought htey ment something else when they asked the question! so, its really not fair! cause I know how to answer both questions!

arggg

Civics SUCK!!!

so, Im suposed to go tomorrow to go through my test with the teacher...I guess thats good, to know my mistakes and such, especially since the FINAL is on Monday...

other than that....I saw today Cayote Ugly [or however its spelled] gosh...Ive probably seen that movie like a thousand times, and I still enjoy it..^_^ LOL I also saw a movie called Beacuase I Said So, and its really cool! I enjoyed it a lot! :) some highlight in this awaful day...=/

I also talked with my mate, lol...he's sending me the weirdest signals..I dunno what he thinks of me...if something romantic or not..baa..

life suck at the moment.

and I have nothing to do on the comp, nothing to read and nothing to watch on TV..so nothing to do...and I dont feel like socializing....not now....so I though of doing some Photoshop...but I dunno what to do...baa

so..just embrace your inner freak and deal with your life.

Movie

okay, just quick update from the movie-not-date.

it was SO much fun!!!

=) =) =)

we got there 30 mins earlier, so we just wlked around talking, it was fun. usually with new people, its harder to talk to, cause they dont know you, but it was really fun talking with him, so I loosened up [maybe even too much..^_^ lol, no...xD] then the movie, which was good, but a whee bit TOO long....from 10:30 till 2 I mean..what were they thinking? but it had its good bad [a lot] and some less good one as well [not so much though]

but it was just fun, and I had a good time.

and thats all I really wnted to say, after Ive been a bit worrying as to what will be, and what will we tlak about..

so, good night [its 2 am now...its literally a quick update after the non-date-date :p]

and DO please embrace your inner freak ;)

Pointless Bordness

so, I didnt go to find a dress today with my sister..though I thought we would...she preffereed not to because of two reaosns, #1, its Friday, os the mall would be PACKED with people...and I HATE poeple...so not goo...^_^ lol #2 she wanted to sleep. which I find, important if you dont want a very pissed off and annyoing sister. besides, I was tired after dancing rehersals.

but my sister already saw some cool dresses, one she really liked is a strepless one, till the knees, B&W stripes VERY cool, nice fabric she told me! on Monday after my Civics final we're gonna go together shopping! I just worry about the shoes...damn feet...^_^

it was quite funny, two of my friends who dance with a group, hip hop and such, like serious stuff, they did some coriagraph for a hip hop part in the song. and I think its the best dance we have so far! really, with the coriagraphor, we have the dumbest steps, with the exception of some cool ones. but this 20 seconds they did for us, pure awesomeness! so I REALLY was tired after that practice!

what else, now its 8 pm, so Im gonna go take a shower soon! Im going to see PotC 3, its gonna ROCK!!!! and meet with my mate as well =] total coolness! ^_^

other than that..my room is HALF orginized, which is more than not orginized at al, which should ocunt for something, right? and now all my friends are learning for our civics final on Monday, but I dont need to, cause I already studied for it! hehe! SO much fun! :)

what else...I burnt a really cool Metallica CD with a lot of their albums...oh, wait, I already said that in the otehr post....oh well..since no one read it, I guess it wouldnt harm to say it again here...^_^

I joined another HP board..kinda..its Dumbledore's Army, basically lots and lots of RPG between DA pDD army] and DE [death eaters] my only problem, I dunno which side to choose...cause in anotehr HP board, Im in OotP [order of the phoenix] which is like DA, so maybe now I should be DE? or should I just stick with the "good guys"?

suggestions, anyone?

other than that...

me

very

bored

period

I think this is going to be my first short post, cause I have nothing to say, cause my life is pretty boring....^_^ hmp

see ya later [or maybe not :p]

and dont forget to embrace your inner freak ;)

Dresses and Comments

so..here we are again.... Im after semi final in civics...which went, as good as the first one..which isnt really comforting...at least I ownthave to study for it again on Monday, cause I already studied it all, so at least I got THAT....^_^

other that...umm...tomorrow Im gonna go browse some dresses with my sister..you know, for PROM...baa...scary...though she said she saw a really cool strepless one, B&W with stripes, till the knee. SO cool! but on me? we'll see...;)

but my bigger problem is shoes...really. I dont like sandlas and such...dont really like my feet...lol..thats odd to say, but I dunno why...just dont.... so my sister said, when I told her this, that I could always wear black Allstar. I was like, 'ya think?" cause yknow, Prom, dress fancy and stuff, & Allstar. I mean, I think its uber cool, so who knows? my mum would kill me...^_^ she's more of the fancy shmancy stuff....my sister is combined, and Im the "freak" lol...Im just more layed back, and whatever I like I wearm no what would people think, or whats fashionable and sh*t.

but really now, I was in the bus with two mates of mine, which are also more of the fancy type [like, REALLY fancy...^_^] and everybody are tkaing this REALLY Seriously....its kinda freaky....^^ and they're gonna go look for something special [I want osmething special too..think that two ppl with the same dress! :O:O:O:O] LOL...even my friends that say its not biggie, are gonna do something big..its just the way to act...I know my mates...."mates"...I just want a cool dress, look good on me, be comfortable, and thats it.

is that SO much to ask...

I think we're gonna see princesses there...hahah

anywayz, on to other stuff...I burnt a really cool CD, all Metallica albums [its MP3, so it can hold a LOT of songs! very cool!] and umm..what else..nothing much....tomorrow my movie-not-date-with-younger-by-two-years-then-me-date.

hehe, that was fun to write! ^_^

and what else...well, I had the usuall ft with family..it happens everyday...god, they're SO annoying..they're kind alike naaive and rightehous or howver that lokng and dreadful word is spelled...and I used to be like that..but then my innocent was taken away, and I GREW UP, but not them....so they get annoyed with my snarky comments, or my truth comments. because you now, truth hurts..so...they live in lies..well, not lies..just half truths...awaful, I know...and then my mum tries to analyze me..and I HATE it when people try to analyze me! SO annoying..makes people feel superior and stuff...uh huh...only IM allowed to analyze myself! :p

I do it enough really, not point bothering others in it...lol...^_^ really...I analyze everything I do...like, my most little action, I think how that might reflect on me as a person and my way of behaviour...like WTF!?

I wanna be a doc. really, Im very interesed in human body, and also solving stuff, and helping people. I want something to do with internal medicine, or something like that...but maybe Pshyciatry is my place...^^

Psych Ward, here I come! muhahahah

umm..I dont know what else to say...okay okay..maybe I DO, but I figured, my posts are REALLY long...no wonder I dont have many comments..people start reading and then go, WHAT was she THINKING and just drift away...^_^ [oo! drift away reminds me of a song by Puddle of Mudd - Drift & Die. RELALY good!!! ] I relate EVERYTHING to music!!! [me. addiction. music.]

anywayz, dont forget to embrace your inner freak ;)

oh, and if youve REACHED this far, firstly, kudus, secondly, if you decide to comment [which I hope you do :p] please do tell me what you think of my new blog header, I did it myself, first try at this sort of stuff, so wanted to know if you think its good or bad...beware though, Im not gonna change it..unless you give me a tip to improve it...;) [Jas dont kill me ....xD]

and VERY IMPORTANT PS-incase you were wondering about my chosed pic...its for allt hose princesses-dresses-obssesed-girls out ther in the upcoming PROM of ours....^_^

Rememebr, Who Are You?

so...I know yesterday I didnt post..but I was a bit busy....studying to Civics and all that..^_^ baa...but now I finished readin git once, so I gave myself a break! woot! AND, I know I wont be able to write tonight, so I figured Id write this morning ;)

you see, the whole point why I needed to finished early with the studying is because today is the memoryale day [not sure if thats what its called in English] of my grandpa that died this day 3 years ago exactly. so we're going to his grave....its sad...but Im going to say something, and hope you dont think Im emotionless or something like that...its just, this days are important, but its kinda weird..its not like I dont remmeber my grand any other day of the year, only on this date...I usually remmeber in him in the most odd times...when I think, how sad it is that he wont be able to see me graduate, or be at my wedding or those kinda stuff...or just see me. period. I think of him, and tears well up in my eyes, cause you think of him, but you know you cant ever talk with him ever again....and its just sad. makes my "problems" seem worthless and stupid.

so you see, I think of him regardless of what date it is...and surely so does my grandma [his wife] and all other relaitves that were close to him...so this day is important, but its not like I dont remember he's dead or something...you understand?

wow...how am I supposed to start talking about something funny and amusing after THAT? well, for me its not really a problem...Im done crying and caring what people think of my behaviour, so Im just gonna be me :p

so, I talked with mystry [for you, not for me ;)] boy yesterday, and we decided we had to meet for real, and not just see each otehr at school for like a min, so I Asked him if he saw PotC3 [we talked before that he wanted to see it, and I did too...] he said he hadnt seen it yet, I said I hadnt either. so I asked him to go with me to the cinema....so we're going to a movie this Friday.

OMFG! what have I done! lol....no one said its a"date" lol...its just, two friends, going out to watch a movie [we both happen to really REALLY wanna see :p]...but my problem is..I never went alone...well..never alone, just me and a GUY....so..umm....baaa...[Im SO lame...^_^] but what can I do....I just hope we wont have an awkard silence...though the fact we're gonna see a movie helpes...so we dont have to talk too much...but there are breaks and like 30 mins till the movies really starts...[damn commercials..I actually like the trailers...^_^]...cross your hands for me....and tips are welcomed ;)

lol..THAT was funny....Im pretty sure there are only, perhaps, 3 people who are actually reading this....and thats a huge MAYBE....so, Im pretty much asking advice from someone..though Im pretty sure no-one is reading this....

kinda makes this whole thing pointless, dont you think ;) lol...xD who's YOU anyhow :p

back to topic....umm...other than guy and civics semi final...yesterday I did my blog header! isnt it cool!!! Im SO inlove with it!!! hehe! I did it from scratch!!! it was just a blank something...now its this beautiful and oh-so-cool blog header!!!! :D if you want me to make you [again, who's you] something, let me know ;) I like doing stuff for other poeple.... lol, my borhter saw it, and he asked me to do one for him too! not a blog header, but a sig...but I can do pretty much everything...muhahah ;P LOL

anywayz...Im off to find something to do....maybe a pic for this post..cause Im ont eh other comp and all the cool icons are on the other one...so..gotta find something!!! wish me luck ;)

and dont forget,

embrace your inner freak